Emergency: Affair!

Emergency: affair!

“When I found out about the affair of my partner, it felt as if the sky had fallen on me."

I hear that sentence so often.

Such a situation is extremely demanding and challenging indeed. Feelings like anger and despair, pain and sadness alternate.


And you wonder:

 

• When do feelings stop riding roller coasters?

• When does this pain go away?

• Does our relationship still make sense?

• Can I ever trust my partner again?


An affair is the greatest possible abuse of trust. Nonetheless, if you as a couple are willing to work on the relationship, it can be mutually beneficial. Even if you decide to break up in the end. I encourage both partners not to get out of the relationship until they have learned something from the "misery". Otherwise, the partners will most likely repeat the same mistakes in the next relationship.



HOW I WORK WITH YOU WHEN AN AFFAIR HAS COME TO LIGHT:

1. You both get the space to express your grief and injuries. Both have the opportunity to share what they have been missing. I will make sure that both of you are understood and heard.

2. If both of you have acknowledged the other one's injuries, I will focus with you on what went wrong.

3. We will then highlight the emotional and psychological dynamics that may have led to the affair.

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4. Finally, as a couple, you will learn new ways to reconnect and be closer again with one another.



AN OUTLOOK


At this point I would like to mention that couples also separate even though they have gone through this process. But even then, the partners are relatively okay with it because they came to a decision during the process that they went through together. In the case of a break-up, both partners will have a much better chance of a fulfilling next partnership.




Talking to a couples counselor is certainly not easy at first. But the decision to seek help is the key to improving or saving the relationship. A crisis can definitely be an opportunity!

You don't have to cope with the crisis on your own. You have come to the right place

when you need someone to sort your thoughts and to express your feelings in a

protected environment. I would be happy to help you find your way out of the drama.

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